All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
