Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
