You're earring is so big in my mouth
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
