you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
