# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
honey bunches of taint.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
