Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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