I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
