come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
