Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
