I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
