remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
