the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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