what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
