Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
