tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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