Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
