Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
