What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
