she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
