Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
