I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
