I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
