her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
