i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
