I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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