Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
