Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
