I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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