Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
