so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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