I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
