shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
