i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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