i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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