I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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