i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize