it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
