I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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