he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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