Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
