he wants to bone in the snuggie
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
