you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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