Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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