yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
