I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
