A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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