Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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