he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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