i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
