If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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