Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize