We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
