doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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