So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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