After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
